Merge lp://staging/~tim-clicks/ubuntu-docs/minor2 into lp://staging/ubuntu-docs/lucid
| Status: | Rejected |
|---|---|
| Rejected by: | Benjamin Kerensa |
| Proposed branch: | lp://staging/~tim-clicks/ubuntu-docs/minor2 |
| Merge into: | lp://staging/ubuntu-docs/lucid |
| Prerequisite: | lp://staging/~tim-clicks/ubuntu-docs/minor |
| Diff against target: |
36 lines (+6/-6) 1 file modified
newtoubuntu/C/newtoubuntu.xml (+6/-6) |
| To merge this branch: | bzr merge lp://staging/~tim-clicks/ubuntu-docs/minor2 |
| Related bugs: |
| Reviewer | Review Type | Date Requested | Status |
|---|---|---|---|
| Connor Imes | Pending | ||
|
Review via email:
|
|||
This proposal supersedes a proposal from 2010-03-20.
Description of the change
Commit log:
Edited introductory paragraphs
Actions & justifications:
"New to Ubuntu?"
Removed redundancy in "New to Ubuntu"?
Appeared twice: once in header, then in first sentence
Expanded the first sentance into listitems
Attempted to use more of the page, so the contents didn't
have such a visually dominating effect.
Changed lead text to the About Ubuntu page
Removed the perception of redundancy by saying that the
ghelp:
"Welcome to Ubuntu"
Spread content out to two sentences
There were two messages. One was about Ubuntu, the other
was about getting new software. This commit provides a
visual seperation, so that the messages are clearer.
Validation:
$ bash ./scripts/
--Validating ./newtoubuntu/
| Tim McNamara (tim-clicks) wrote | # |
Unmerged revisions
- 484. By Tim McNamara
-
Cleanup
Fixed UK English strings, moved <listitems> to independent sentences, removed contractions.
See https:/
/code.launchpad .net/~tim- clicks/ ubuntu- docs/minor2/ +merge/ 21767/comments/ 55945 - 483. By Tim McNamara
-
Edited introductory paragraphs
Actions & justifications:
"New to Ubuntu?"
Removed redundancy in "New to Ubuntu"?
Appeared twice: once in header, then in first sentence
Expanded the first sentance into listitems
Attempted to use more of the page, so the contents didn't
have such a visually dominating effect."Welcome to Ubuntu"
Spread content out to two sentences
There were two messages. One was about Ubuntu, the other
was about getting new software. This commit provides a
visual seperation, so that the messages are clearer. - 482. By Tim McNamara
-
Largely cosmetic changes
Added the occasional comma. Discarded semi-colons in favour of new
sentences. Attempted to shorten sentences where beneficial.Non-trivial changes:
location - action - justification
l 78 - deleted some text - Sounded a little too much like an advert.
l 79 - removed 'update' - Not accurate
l 87 - content changes - Provided some more specifics, used 'non-free'
over 'proprietary' because it's more accurate
Tim, thanks for your proposed merge. I just have a couple of suggestions to be completed before merging
-Please begin new listitems with a capital letter - they shouldn't run together like a sentence.
-Please ensure that you are using American English (e.g. "Software Center" instead of "Software Centre").
-As a rule of thumb, you should avoid using contractions where possible (e.g. "do not" instead of "don't"). This is not always necessary, but usually reads more professionally.
If you make these changes ASAP, I can merge them before String Freeze.
Cheers.